🎩 Prostate of the Union Address

Issue No. 51 — In which I face surgery, insurance bureaucracy, and a two-week relationship with a catheter

Readers, the time has come to remove a small gland with a big attitude.

On Monday, May 12 at 1pm, I’ll be undergoing prostate surgery. It’s a procedure with an excellent prognosis, but to be honest- this still feels like the World Cup of the Man Flu. I’m preparing for the experience with some grace, humor and a lot more anxiety. But still trying to make a joke out of it every chance I get, because I am still a teenage boy.

In related news, I’m currently sparring with my insurance company. This is either going to cost me a lot or A LOT. Being a consultant has so many perks, but my current marketplace insurance has me jonesing for the days of corporate benefits. Le sigh.

After a night or two in the hospital and I’ve emptied my 401k, I’ll be rocking a catheter for up to two weeks. Which means I won’t be leaving the house during that time. Truth be told, I probably wouldn’t have left anyway. But let’s pretend for this newsletter that I am a socially on-the-go, gregarious, extroverted human.

So since this feels like a stay-at-home-with-a-tube-coming-out-of-my-penis camp, I’m assembling a recovery playlist of sorts—video games (PS5), movies, shows, books, podcasts… things that will help me stay entertained while I recover, hydrate, and gently navigate gravity.

Here are some things I have been saving:

Mob Land (Paramount). Peninsula - the sequel to Train to Busan (Netflix). The Eternaut - Argentinian apocalyptic show (Netflix).

And this video game:

Got a recommendation? Hit reply. Extra points if your pick includes anything related to surrealism, South Korea, Bollywood, or Giada De Laurentiis!

Also accepting:

• Prostate puns

• Unsolicited but oddly touching advice

• Sparkling water

I also want to give a shout out to Cindy who is my Dr’s right-hand person. She has been kind and patient with me. She has called to give me pep talks, walk me through all of the details and processes and shared her personal life and health journey - all to make me feel better. It’s like having a mom in my corner.

I’ll keep everyone posted, probably from my couch, slightly sedated and in awe of modern medicine. Until then, don’t skip your Drs appointment, dream big and be kind.

Image courtesy of Kate Franzman

With gratitude (and one less gland soon)…much love.

Daniel